What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
Last Updated: 19.06.2025 11:13
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
But it wasn’t much.
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
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One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
What are some prime examples of gibberish from the bible?
Comes on , in middle age.
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
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I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
I was seconnd youngest,
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
What did i know ?
Hillary thinks we must censor or "we lose total control". Why does she demand total control?
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
Why do Muslims invade Western society?
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
(And it was in our own minds.)
We all went to grammer schools
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
She found it foreign!.
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
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My mum and dad in the seventies!
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
She loved him until the end.
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
Has anyone tried bestiality and been caught?
So whats the point in blame.
When she asked me how she looked .
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
What is the opposite personality type of someone with ASPD (antisocial personality disorder)?
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
What is the reason for writing X^2 as XX instead of X*X?
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
I was 9 years of age.
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
Especially a lifetime of it.
I could never make a relationship work though!
And who doesn’t know suffering?
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
But ive been too sick for many years..
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
I couldn’t, believe it.
My family never makes their pension either.
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
He resisted the act ,that day.
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
I said to her
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
I was very sick at this time too.
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
One cannot live in the past .
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
Why did i forgive my father ?
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
I have no regrets .
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
I waited trembling.
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
He was dying to do it , i knew.
So, i spoilt her more .
I never cut or harmed myself..
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
I write beautiful poetry .
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
I know ,a lot about trauma.
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
As i do to all so called friends.?
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
This is soul school!.
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
I did it because my mum asked me too!
Was to survive, this bastard.
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
My life is so biszare .
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
I was scared of men, in general
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
I will be 64.
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
Who then, do I blame.?
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
He knew the spot.
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
I don,t even have a pension.
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
We were not on the streets..
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
It was going to be , some day.
I had hoped to write a book about this .
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
And i lived it daily.
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
She wouldn,t have been !
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
This is how, and why children get BPD.
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
She was in good health!
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
She married twice! .
Ive learnt so much.
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
Would this be the day?
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
Im dying but, im not bitter.
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
All the time i was locked up.
On the 31st of Jan this month .
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
The only rule us 5 kids had .
Im still living with it.
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
I think the readers, may guess!
Put me off passion for life!!
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
They are buried together, in the same grave..
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
Where the ultimate outsiders.
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
But, we were locked up after school.
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
I of course replied” arh beautiful!